At one point, I was struggling spiritually, trying to stay consistent with small acts of worship. One conversation (an advice) shifted everything for me and not in a good way. That experience taught me more than I expected, and I want to share those lessons here.
This is the first post in a series where I’ll share personal reflections and reminders I’ve gathered through my own ups and downs. May it benefit anyone who needs it.
What happened was that an elder asked how much Quran I read daily. I responded honestly that sometimes I read a Rukuh, sometimes more, but I try to stay consistent, even if it’s a small amount (because Allah loves consistent efforts, no matter how small). Instead of encouragement, I was met with disapproval. “You must recite more. One Rukuh is not enough (the example of what reciting one Rukuh is equivalent to that they gave me was disgusting and embarrassing that I can’t share here. It shocked me). You should also do this, this, and that.” It felt like my efforts were being dismissed entirely. Not that I seek people’s approval for my efforts but sometimes when you are in a spiritually bad place, such comments can have a really bad impact on you.
That conversation, though brief, left a mark. Without even realizing it, I slowly stopped reciting the Quran. Not because I didn’t want to but because I started believing I wasn’t doing enough. That I was somehow failing. That maybe I was being sinful for not doing more.
The irony is, the person who said this is involved in Dawah work, yet didn’t follow the Prophetic way of giving advice. I’ve been reading a book called Enjoy Your Life (you can find the book links in the recommendations section of this article), and it beautifully explains how the Prophet ﷺ used to interact with people, tailoring his words and tone based on each person’s personality and situation. He didn’t use one blanket approach for everyone. He was gentle, understanding, and wise.
After that interaction, I started procrastinating. Then, eventually, I stopped altogether…not just with Quran but with Prayers and Adhkaar too. The feeling of not being “good enough” crept in and quietly pushed me further away.
May Allah guide that person. I know they meant well and were trying to inspire me. But it had the opposite effect.
And it made me reflect deeply: how often do we do this to others?
When Allah makes something easy for us, we assume it must be easy for everyone else too. If we see someone doing less, we assume they’re being lazy or careless. But we don’t know their physical, mental, or emotional state. We don’t see their internal battles. So instead of offering kindness, we sometimes end up burdening them further.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Don’t Make Islam Hard for People
Islam was never meant to be difficult. Life isn’t the same for everyone. Some people struggle with even the basics and that’s okay. It’s a test from Allah. If we can’t help ease their path, the least we can do is not make it harder. Be kind. Be gentle. Be considerate.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded; and gain strength by worshipping in the mornings, the afternoons, and during the last hours of the nights.”(See Fath-ul-Bari, Page 102, Vol 1) Sahih al-Bukhari 39
2. Advice Has a Time, Place, and Method
Giving advice is a skill and it’s often best given through actions, not words. If you want someone to read more Quran, start by doing it yourself with sincerity and love. Let your actions inspire. The Prophet ﷺ didn’t use the same approach for everyone. He considered their personalities, their circumstances, their capacity.
I wasn’t in a place to be told to “do more.” I was already doing the best I could with the energy I had. Sometimes advice can be correct in content but harmful in timing.
3. Be Grateful for What Allah Made Easy for You
If you are able to recite Quran more, pray more, do more good deeds etc., be grateful to Allah for blessing you with the ability to do more. Allah made things easy for you, it’s a blessing not your ticket to judge others and belittle their efforts. Every person has their own journey, limitations, strengths and trials. Just because it’s easy for you doesn’t mean it’s easy for everyone. This ease is a test for you and if you end up judging others and belittle their efforts, then you my friend are failing miserably without realizing. Allah tests some people by making worship easy for them, to see if they remain humble and grateful for the ease. On the other hand, some people are tested with laziness and difficulty in worship to see if they will make effort or just give up.
So if you see someone doing even the bare minimum, appreciate them. Pray for them. You have no idea how a kind word or silent prayer can lift their spirit and help them grow. And you have no idea how one harsh comment can push them into spiritual darkness.
Let’s not be the reason someone gives up. Let’s be the reason someone holds on.
